"Stories are medicine. I have been taken with stories since I heard my first. They have such power; they do not require that we do, be, act, anything -- we need only listen."
- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves
"Stories are medicine. I have been taken with stories since I heard my first. They have such power; they do not require that we do, be, act, anything -- we need only listen."
- Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Women Who Run With the Wolves
HEY READER: There are rules.
Anonymity does not give you the license to hate, to be cruel, or to judge. No keyboard attackers allowed.
Controversial subjects and life experiences are a given. Just because there is not a picture of a face of the person who wrote it, does not mean they are not human. RESPECT is mandatory. Differences of opinion are encouraged, and respectful disagreements are allowed, but any hate speech or attacking will get you reported.
The first time I experienced a deep fear of him was when he spilled red wine on a brand new white down comforter, I reacted, and he snapped. The hulk-like transition happened so quickly that all I remember is running to the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and hiding in the bathtub, gripping my knees close to my chest, crying, and praying. He busted the door down in anger, saw me terrified, softened immediately, and offered to hold me. I let him.
That’s a one-time thing, I thought. And he felt awful. Besides, I was a strong, independent, vocal young woman. I would never put up with a man abusing me, verbally, or otherwise. I was the last girl who would be in that position…
A response to current events
It's 2020 and it’s not uncommon for a mother to watch her son become a hashtag because he's black
But the media won't mention that he was much more than that
Maybe that's why It's 2019 and it makes some uncomfortable that I am blacker than 12 AM during a waxing crescent moon
But God made me bright enough to illuminate rooms
It's 2019 and technically lynching was outlawed in 1968
But we only modernized the name
Though he didn't hang
Systemic lynching is still the same…
…Those who have never had a panic attack find it hard to understand, and those who have had one find it hard to ever forget. You can’t breathe, you can’t speak, and the worst thing anyone can try to do is help. It’s over quickly, but scarily it can pop up again anytime. There’s no real prevention, and short of medicating myself to the point of numbness, there is no cure. For now, just leave me the fuck alone in this dark, cold room and let me put ice in my bra. I’ll be fine in about 20 minutes.
I grew up in a household with a 6-foot tall, 200-pound, angry gorilla that took out his rage on myself, my mother, and my little brother. My dad has struggled with his mental health his entire life.
I know my upbringing is a big part of the reason I have anxiety. I know that genetics do their fair share too.
I’m anxious about everything, but especially around being perfect in every aspect of my life and in how I show up for others. When I was little, if everything wasn’t just right, the outcome wasn’t pretty. Anxiety was a driving force that helped me avoid bad outcomes, or so I thought. The more anxious I was, the harder I worked towards perfectionism, so I had less to fear. It’s irrational thinking, and I know that now.
Anxiety isn’t protecting me.
I am currently sitting on my bed. A glass of wine sitting beside me and I hear the noises of an awesome husband and excited little one filing up each room of our house.
As I sit here, I think of Frida. How she paints. How her vibrant colors merge together so effortlessly. Nothing is forced. Her self-portraits are honest portrayals of how she feels. Every brush stroke has meaning.
She has an honesty about herself and she allows herself to… feel…
…This is also what spirals my brain into a spaghetti-like mess, with every noodle touching the other and when you move one, the whole plate moves. Completing a task is never just completing a task, that task is a domino in a long line of perfectly set up dominos. One wrong move and the very worst thing could happen. They all fall…With a brain swirling around and around like spaghetti on a fork, slipping and sliding, I get overwhelmed, often. Throughout my life, the dominos falling, the things I’ve built have crashed and burned, and these circumstances have triggered this feeling of overwhelm to the point of complete burnout, utter panic, sitting in the floor of the shower with the water beating on my head as I count and try to breathe. I feel like I am drowning, like I am gasping for air. The walls are closing in, and I am anchored to the bottom of a deep, dark, pool.
Anonymous Contributor
MAY: Mental Health
Standing in the Eye A life surrounded by the storm of mental illness. I explained once to my counselor how my aunt died when I was young. That she’d taken her own life and it was the first - but not the last - time suicide touched our family. For me, this seemed the beginning of my story…
One day back in October 2017, I was scrolling through Facebook (procrastinating) and came across a TEDTalk video of a person named Jessica McCabe on “What it’s really like to live with ADHD.” My friend had shared it, commenting that she herself has ADHD and she wants people to understand it better, beyond its stereotypes. I decided to watch out of curiosity.
McCabe described what her life was like from childhood all the way up to present day, at 34 years old. Her story included getting diagnosed with ADHD as a child. I didn’t really see many similarities between her and myself beyond being a smart kid with lots of potential that ended up having no idea what she was doing with her life at 32. I was 31 at the time, and while I had an idea of what I wanted to do with my life, I’d been stuck at the idea stage for YEARS with no real plan. I’d barely moved the needle on it…
I’m exhausted and I’m not “KILLIN IT.” Most days it actually feels more like I’m killing myself burning the candle at both ends. I’ve definitely always been a high-achiever, studying all hours of the night, aiming for high GPA’s and praise. I embroidered my self-portrait in art school in college, yup - that’s right…embroidered it. I think I stayed awake for 72 hours trying to finish my eyeball before the project was due, shaking from all of the energy drinks, I barely got words out to explain my artistic vision and reasoning for picking something so meticulous….
May is Mental Health month. Click below to read stories by brave women on the subject.
June is PRIDE month. It’s also a very important pivotal time for the black lives matter movement. Click below to read stories curated by those within, supporting, or experiencing the LGBTQ community as well as reactions to current events.
Abuse doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone. Honoring survival and sharing your experience can be especially healing.
Sex
Motherhood
Loss/Grief
I've never told anyone this
Family Relationships
Finding my voice
Diversity
Sexual Assault + Harassment
Work + Career
Money
Freedom
Politics + Activism
Self-Discovery + Growth
Boundaries
Failure
Fear
Body Positivity
Faith
How I REALLY feel
Societal Pressures
What's Normal
My relationship with food
Justice
Mindset
My reproductive system
We have several subjects of focus and we are always open to new stories.
Failure
Fear
Body Positivity
Faith
How I REALLY feel
Societal Pressures
What's Normal
My relationship with food
Justice
Mindset
My reproductive system
Politics + Activism
Self-Discovery + Growth
Boundaries
Mental Health
Pride
Abuse
Sex
Motherhood
Loss/Grief
I've never told anyone this
Family Relationships
Finding my voice
Diversity
Sexual Assault + Harassment
Work + Career
Money
Freedom
*Are you a current contributor? Visit our password protected page made just for you.
Interested in being a contributor? Read through the guidelines below + THEN fill out this form (also at the bottom for your convenience.
SheWolf’s content demonstrates our commitment to equalize all female voices, to create a safe space for those that identify as “she” to heal, process, release, and connect. We exist to deepen the female conscience, individually and collectively, and challenge the status quo, the shoulds and should-nots.
We do this by:
Creating and curating original and engaging content dealing with taboo subjects, the experience of womanhood, journeys of self-discovery, freedom, identity and growth.
We accept content that creates belonging, bravery, courage, vulnerability. We look for stories that empower, reflect, grieve, challenge, and most importantly, allow us to be human.
We choose and shape content that is bold, original, deep, honest.
Types of content we publish:
Personal essays
Blogs
Stories
First-person narratives
Explorations of issues
Rants
Culture pieces
Intellectual thought pieces
Poetry
Illustrations accompanied by thought
How long do submissions have to be?
We will publish stories, poems, articles of any length but for SEO, the ideal blog post length should be 2,100-2,400 words, according to HubSpot data. If you submit something less than 600 words, such as a poem or statement, an explanation or elaboration on the poem to accompany is preferred.
How do I submit to SheWolf?
SheWolf’s submissions are open to all who identify as “she.”
Send all queries to wolfpack@shewolf.co
NOTE:
We are a staff of ONE, with one other volunteer and we do not look at submissions everyday or every hour. While we try to connect with all queries, know that we may only get back to you if we are interested in your piece.
Include a current email address and phone number with your submission. This is for our staff only. They will not be shared with anyone else.
Clearly identify your submissions by titling the subject line as follows: “Submission: Essay” or “Submission: Poetry” or “Submission: Blog.”
WANT TO BE ANONYMOUS?
Why + how am I kept anonymous?
WHY: Anonymity protects the author. Many of these stories are private, special, hard to relive and talk about. Many of us would not share these stories if our name was attached to protect ourselves and others. Moreso - anonymity is the great equalizer. HERE - no voice is more important than the other. It doesn’t matter how famous you are, how many followers you have, where you’re from, what you do for work, who you’re married to, etc. This is for all who identify as SHE. It’s not about self-promotion.
HOW: If you choose to be anonymous, you are anonymous from the beginning of the sign up process, you are anonymous. You assign yourself an alias and all subjects you sign up for are assigned to your alias. Your name is never used, not even with other contributors. The only individual who has your contact information and name is Jordan Lacenski, the Owner of SheWolf and the admin of the site. All submissions are given to us and we post them, so your IP address is never linked, just ours.
What else? Just as we protect your identity - we ask that any characters or people mentioned in your work are nameless as well.
Should I send a query or just send in a complete story?
Query! That is, unless you’ve already written a completed piece. In which case, send complete pieces with the subject line “SUBMISSION: READY TO PUBLISH” and we prefer if you include an image or artwork.
What should be in my query?
Send an overall topic and a paragraph describing your story or angle with the topic. Outlines are welcome. Be sure to tell us what is new or fresh about your idea. Send writing samples, if you have them.
What if my story was published before?
We do not republish stories. Occasionally, we may accept a fresh version of a piece that has been published elsewhere. You will be responsible for sending links of any pre-published stories so we can identify if they are different enough.
When will I find out if my work has been accepted?
SheWolf will try to respond within 48 hours to queries. Finished stories will be notified they will be posted, but we may not be able to tell you when it will be published. Your story may align with a focus for a month in the future, in which case it may not be published until that month.
How much does SheWolf pay?
We do not currently pay for submissions. This is NOT to further your name or your business or reputation. This is for you, personally, to heal, grow, and process. It is an outlet for you to share.
All submissions are anonymous.
With that said, we appreciate you, your bravery, and your story. We know that all women will benefit.
Our thank you includes a promo code for 25% off to our shop after your first contributing post.
What is your fact-checking policy?
This is more about experience, emotion, than it is about research. With that said, if a piece does require historical references or research - Writers are expected to fact check their own stories and provide those sources. If you have interviewed anyone, their name will also be anonymous. Be sure they are aware of this. You are responsible for ethical writing. Do not change quotes or submit anything that is untrue.
A Few Quick Pointers
SheWolf stories are written for the lay reader, not for experts.
SheWolf will publish intellectual explorations but not those written in an academic writing style.
Shewolf likes HONESTY, that means topics can be triggering. Curse words are welcome and allowed but should be used at a minimum. Articles with foul language will be labeled as such on our site.
Your submission may be shared via social media, which can allow for responses and opinions. While your submission is anonymous, please be prepared to see disagreeing comments and reactions.
All contributors agree to the SheWolf code of conduct and our terms and conditions.
The Rules:
The Owner is the only person to have your contact information and name to verify that you are real (not a robot) and to take payment for the community. Your information will NOT be shared with anyone at anytime (unless the subject falls under safety regulations listed in item 6)
18 and older only.
If you identify as a she/her - you are included.
Any submissions that elude to an individual being a threat to themselves or others, is currently abusive or abused can be reported FOR YOUR SAFETY and the SAFETY OF OTHERS.. This may mean the individual has threatened suicide, is repeatedly harming themselves, or has threatened to harm another person. Your confidentiality and anonymity will be void at this point.
You can write about anything relating to your experience as a woman, anything that ails your heart, anything that you have learned, anything that needs healing. We have a theme each month that is featured if you need some more direction:
THEMES FOR FUTURE FOCUSES + ISSUES:
Mental Health, which might include topics like:
Anxiety
Postpartum
Therapy
Grief
Depression
Bipolar
OCD
Control
Abandonment
Healthy habits
Pride, which might have multiple meanings and include topics like:
Killing the ego
Identifying as a woman
Late transition or coming out
BiSexuality
Do I have to fit in a box?
Can I have my religion and my identity?
Gender Fluidity
Raising a trans child
My friend, family member just came out
Is everyone a little bit queer?
My coming out story
I'm scared to come out
Abuse, which might include stories like this:
Surviving
Gaslighting
Disassociation of abuse
If I saw my abuser on the street...
I was the last person I would have thought would end up in an abusive relationship
Healing after abuse
Sex
Masturbation
My first time
Initiating
Rejection
# of partners
Waiting until marriage
Experimenting
Is my vagina normal?
Motherhood
Pregnancy
Going back to work after kids
Raising a feminist
I was disappointed when I found out my babies gender
Adopting
Sh*t they don't tell you about childbirth
And other subjects like:
Loss/Grief
I've never told anyone this
Family Relationships
Finding my voice
Diversity
Sexual Assault + Harassment
Work + Career
Money
Freedom
Politics + Activism
Self-Discovery + Growth
Boundaries
Failure
Fear
Body Positivity
Faith
How I REALLY feel
Societal Pressures
What's Normal
My relationship with food
Justice
Mindset
My reproductive system
If you're interested in contributing to any of these subjects, submit a query by emailing wolfpack@shewolf.co or fill out the form to register as a potential contributor:
*Once you have signed up for a subject, you will be given the password to submit your work anonymously.
CANVA for artwork creating: https://www.canva.com/
Hemingway to make your writing bold and clear: http://www.hemingwayapp.com/
GRAMMARLY to edit and proofread: https://www.grammarly.com/
Got Writers block?
Need a blog template?
More content writing tools: https://www.dreamgrow.com/content-writing-tools/
“Oh my gosh, your baby is so cute!”
“Thank you! I wish I could lock myself in a closet and cry.”
Prenatal and Postpartum Depression and Anxiety are so real and so absolutely gut-wrenching, but even now they’re rarely talked about. It was something no one ever prepared me for, warned me about, or mentioned to me in any kind of real way.